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The Queer Engagement Ring Wiki: Who Wears It and What Style To Choose?

Looking for an engagement ring that celebrates love in all its forms? Get tips on choosing and wearing the perfect gay or lesbian engagement ring with this guide from Holts Gems.
By Melissa Ban
4 min read
The Queer Engagement Ring Wiki: Who Wears It and What Style To Choose?

For the LGBTQ community, deciding on an engagement ring can be a little different sometimes. When it comes to same-sex relationships, the decision of who wears the engagement ring can be a bit of a dilemma. Should it be the person who proposed? Or both of them can exchange engagement rings? And what style of ring to wear in queer relationships? In this blog post, we will dive into the world of queer engagement rings and all the different options available.

First thing first, should I have a diamond or a gemstone and in which style? 

From our previous experiences, green gemstones have always been a popular choice for their vibrant beauty. You have many choices like emeralds, tsavorite or green sapphire. 


For emeralds, they are the birthstone for May-born babes. You couldn't find any other gemstones that have that vivid bluish-green colour. However, with 7 on the Mohs scale, and its brittle nature, if you choose to have emeralds as the centre stone of your engagement ring, it will require more care in wearing them. 


Tsavorite is a great option if you are after an alternative to the emerald. Result of its high refractive index the tsavorite is always more 'sparkly' to naked eyes. 

Green sapphires

Green sapphire is another choice for green lovers, you can almost find all shades of green in it. Together with our sister company, we are proud to have one of the largest ethical gemstone stocks in the UK. From deep forest green to fresh lime green, there's something for everyone. 

Ring Styles

Over the past few years, we've noticed an increase in men's engagement ring styles. Our Lotus ring is our bestseller, featuring a signet design with a sleek and simple look. For queer couples, bespoke designs are often preferred to celebrate their unique love. Art-deco and vintage styles are especially popular, often paired with rose gold for a stunning look. Read the story from our “Holts couple” about their bespoke experiences: “Collecting our rings and putting them on each others’ finger for the first time was magical.”

Lesbian engagement rings on both hands

Now picture this: your perfect ring, or even rings, are sitting pretty in your mind. The next question is Who Wears It? 

Option 1: Both partners exchange engagement rings

In many queer relationships, both partners exchange engagement rings. This is a beautiful way to not only symbolise love and commitment but also to represent equality and partnership in the relationship. For this option, you can choose matching rings or ones that each partner prefers. Perhaps one partner wants a simple band and the other loves a ring with a diamond or a gemstone. It's all about personal preference and finding a ring that represents both partner's style.

Option 2: The person who proposed wears an engagement ring

In some queer relationships, the person who proposed wears the engagement ring. This can be a beautiful way to show their love and commitment to their partner. They can choose a ring that matches their own style, or perhaps one that represents their partner's style as well. If you're the one proposing and you're not sure what style of ring to choose, try to observe your partner's taste in jewellery and go from there. 

Option 3: Both partners wear non-traditional engagement rings

If a traditional engagement ring isn't really your style, then why not go for something different? Instead of a ring with a diamond, opt for a ring with a colourful gemstone or a unique design. The possibilities are endless, and the ring you choose should represent your personal style and love for your partner.

No matter which option you choose, it's important to find a ring that represents your and your partner's style, and that is a symbol of your love and commitment. And remember, there's no right or wrong way to do it - it's all about what feels right for you and your relationship.

Conclusion: As LGBTQ individuals, we have the freedom to create our own traditions and ways of expressing our love for our partners. Whether you choose to exchange engagement rings, have one partner wear the ring or choose a non-traditional ring, the most important thing is to choose a ring that speaks to both of your styles and represents your love and commitment. And don't forget to enjoy the process of choosing a ring - it's a special moment in your relationship that you'll always remember.

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